Use these four questions as a guide to help you plan ahead for future medical and caregiving needs.
Most people don’t want to think about the health-related what-ifs that come with aging, let alone talk about them — especially with family. Nonetheless, that conversation is critical to have. Having a plan in place that you’ve put together as a family can free everyone up to focus on each other, instead of worrying about where the money will come from should you, or an aging parent or spouse, fall ill. “The best time to talk about these matters is before you need to,” notes Cynthia Hutchins, director of financial gerontology at Bank of America.
Below are four questions to help you start having these important family talks with your spouse, your children, your parents and your siblings. Use them to share your expectations with your family. Consult your financial advisor about ways to prepare financially for the healthcare costs that may occur. And keep talking as years go by and circumstances change. While no one can know the future, being prepared for what might come next can make the road ahead easier.
Here are four questions that can help you start having these important family conversations.
- Where will the money come from?
Talk about potential expenses associated with a long-term illness, such as home healthcare or modifications to the family home to accommodate a future disability. Should your parents purchase disability or a long-term care insurance, consider choices such as hybrid forms of life insurance and health savings accounts, or simply save and invest more?
Review your choices with your financial advisor, who can help you ensure that your retirement and any other goals aren’t put in jeopardy.
- Will our parents have the care they need as they grow older?
Many people struggle with aging parents’ unwillingness to face their limitations. That’s why it can be wise to bring up these issues early. Ask specific questions like: At what point would it make sense for you to stop driving, or to have a caretaker come in to help with the meals? Kate Wilber, professor of gerontology at the University of Southern California — Leonard Davis School of Gerontology, says. “Often, at first, you’ll be rebuffed. This will likely take more than one conversation.”
- Who will provide the caregiving, if it is needed?
Hutchins recommends that siblings should talk among themselves about how they’ll share the caregiving role. “You want to be sure that both your parents and your own needs are considered. Sometimes it makes sense to cobble together a combination of in-home and outside care,” she says, where siblings can at least share costs, if not the hands-on responsibilities.
- What about end-of-life issues?
Among the things to consider: Which medical treatments do you and your parents want to be used or avoided at the end of your lives? Whom do you want to be your healthcare proxy if you are unable to communicate your wishes? You can use a healthcare power of attorney and a living will to document your choices. And begin thinking about how you want to pass on your legacy — financial and otherwise.
For more information, contact Merrill First Vice President, Senior Financial Advisor Percy D. McGee, Jr. in the Oakland, CA, office at
or [email protected]
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